Why Doesn't She Sleep Well?

What? She shouldn't be chewing on tea bags at 9 PM? Now you tell me!

I complain. A lot. About pretty much anything. Not enough sleep. Not enough time. Not enough money. Too much fat hanging around my belly. The usual stuff. I know that I have every thing I need. I don't have to worry about paying the mortgage. I'm not tucking my kids into bed and then locking the door so I can head off to a job and not have to pay for childcare. If my car breaks down, I just make arrangements for it to be repaired. I have healthy kids. A partner who loves me and is a decent human being. I live in a safe area where my children play outside unsupervised. So what is my complaint?

So when I hear a mom talking about how great her day was, "We had popsicles and watched the pool fill. The dog chased his tail and we laughed until our sides ached!" I become even more whiney. My day was filled with those sort of things too, but I struggle to find them amusing. I think and feel "The damn pool took so long to fill so I gave the kids popsicles to shut them up. And the stupid-ass, dumb dog took out a circle of grass running around over and over."

Am I hard-wired to be pessimistic? Can I change? Cathy is much more of a glass-half full kind of person. And even that can be annoying to me. Can't she see how dismal it all is? I can joke about how negatively I see the world, but I don't want to pass it on to my kids.

Logan didn't get invited to a friend/classmate's birthday party. Logan thought, "He sent me my invitation but it got lost in the mail." I, of course, think "Rotten mom. I've had that kid over here for playdates, she never invites Logan back. Invites everyone in the class but Logan. blah, blah, blah." I'm still stewing and Logan has moved on. Come to find out only 3 kids from his class were invited, so it wasn't such an insult after all.

This photo always reminds me of how negative I am. The grass is green, the colors are pretty, my kids are happy and healthy, the cat is cute and friendly, but.... I still needed to cut that grass, and wash the sheet and clothes, and little bodies and make dinner and clean up that said dinner and then feed another bowl of cereal to the little brats, oops, sweet kids, who didn't really like the nutritious meal I slaved over. I think it is ingrained and I need to just move on.

Enjoy the lovely (pollen filled, dusty, grass still needs cutting, plants need watering, what-is-eating all my corn seeds) spring day! :)

Upright

This is Meryl's preferred way of moving now. If she falls she'll get back up and start walking again.

Run for the Woods

Both kids ran. Logan was pretty aggressive about the whole thing which pleases me. Avery cried the whole run, finished dead last and kept whining to me "Just run. Don't talk to me."

Move Along, nothing to see here.

I don't have much for you here. It is an exciting day when I keep the floors cleaned and we eat a decent meal for dinner. And if all 4 kids get their hair washed?? Well, golly gee, aren't I just grand?

To be perfectly honest, the highlight of today was my quick trip to the grocery store. For only $19 I walked out of the store with 3 lb of strawberries, 1.3 lb of asparagus, 6 ears of corn, 4 lb of apples and 10 14 oz boxes of cheerios. Yes, 10 boxes. The silly games a mom is willing to play to keep food costs down.

So, come on over and we'll have an exciting meal of cheerios and strawberries. And maybe we can get wild and crazy and have apples for dessert.

Mother's Day

Today I received a gift like no other. Meryl gave me a handful of poop. Then another handful. Disposable diapers don't keep their little hands out. I cleaned her up. Cleaned the floor, rug, wall, door and window. Then I picked up Finely. And she gave me two handfuls and a face full. Yes folks, it appears that Finley is like a poorly trained dog and eats other people's poop.

Happy Mother's Day!

ps- Today was a sprint Tri. I placed 4th in my division with a 54 min race. Kathie was great and watched the kids while I raced, took a shower and went back to check on my placement. I believe this is the first time in the 7 or so years I've done this event that I didn't get any hardware to bring home.

Believe

This video was put together by a woman I know on-line. I wish I could have every woman who is pregnant with twins see it. One year ago I was buying into the "60% of twins are born by cesarean" fears. I was submitting to the several times weekly non-stress tests and ultrasounds because I was "high risk" simply because there were two babies, not because there really was an increased risk. I was uncomfortable and scared. I'll always regret that I spent those 48 hours being induced- tired, hungry and demoralized. It made me not trust my body because I was doing everything against my body. In the end, the babies births were just fine- but the hoops I needed to jump to let that happen were not reasonable.

I hope you find this both inspirational and that it can someday just be the norm, not the exception.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E-wULAaD50

Playing Together

This is new. They've just begun to truly play together. The video goes on a little long, but I don't know how to edit it.

A New Friend

Meryl made a new friend at the Science Museum. She and a volunteer just clicked.Literally, with the magnets.


By the end Meryl was laying her head on her and trying to snuggle up with her. It was so weird, since the kids all tend to be on the shy side. Meryl shows signs of shyness when people come into her space and she feels trapped (like when she is in the stroller) but to go into someone else's space she was very comfortable. It was on her terms.

Heather's Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

So it started about 3 am when I went to bed (again) only to be woken minutes later (again). Then at 4am Logan thundered into the bedroom up for the day. He has to move fast to keep away from any monsters that might be lurking. With the speed comes the feet pounding which wakes me and the babies who are sleeping on me. Good Morning!!! Everyone is up too early and we are all a bit cranky.

Sit on the toilet covered with child pee. Out of my favorite tea. Forgot to send a note into school saying I would pick Logan up- don't send him on the bus.

Cathy is home for 3 hours, so I head off to the garden to be alone and productive for a bit. My "reading" these days is listening to books on tape. Get to the garden and realize my batteries are dead. The guy with a garden near me rototilled his area, and went through mine to get there. I had already planted there.

Pick up Avery from school- I brought the wrong car. I didn't bring a snack. I spoke the wrong words. Home for lunch (I made the wrong thing) and a shower.

Off to first day of ballet for Avery. I had written a note to the teacher letting her know that Avery will do fine in the class if the teacher just ignores her. No eye contact, don't call her name or single her out in any way. I introduce myself and remind her. Her response? She steps around me to Avery and says, in that awful voice people use for children, "Helloooooooooo Averrrrrryyyyyy!!! What a beautiful dresssssssssss! I'm so glad you are hereeeeeeeeee!!" Arg. Avery wilts and starts to cry. So much for that class, and the money spent on new ballet slippers and leotard.

To the School Greenhouse where the first graders are planting beans. I had specifically been told siblings were ok. I had asked about stairs since I'd have a stroller. No problem. I'm supposed to escort groups of kids from class to greenhouse and back. 4 flights of stairs with a double stroller + a sad preschooler who just failed at ballet= Disaster.

Home to catch the bus carrying Logan and a friend. Good thing they aren't enemies or I'd really be in trouble. I serve an okay snack (Doritos bought specifically for this kid) but my dinner is wrong, again. And I don't have dessert.

Fight into the tub X 2 (Logan and Avery.) Fight out of the tub X 2 (Meryl and Finley.) Fight to bed x 4. Clean up from dinner with one fussing on my back. See Logan's shoes outside and decide to leave them in the rain. I only told him 4 times to bring them in. Plop the one on my back into bed at 10PM.

Shower. Turn off water to hear one crying. Start a lovely night where I nap for 20 minute increments with one kiddo before rolling over to nap with the other.

Some days are like that. Tomorrow will be a better day. That is what I tell myself.

At least I didn't end up with gum in my hair. But the story of why Logan's hair is so short and has a couple bald spots is a story for another day.